I’ve been musing on the idea of ‘success’ recently. This reflection comes after attending several events featuring influencers - mainly women I know through Instagram or other social media platforms. These are women with significant followings.
One had given a TED talk, another is a frequent guest on television, and yet another recently published a book. All of them target women aged 50+. One is a household name, while the others might be familiar only to those who share an interest or work in the same space.
Having spent over a decade working with genuine celebrities during my time running an entertainment PR agency, I don’t get starstruck. I’ve seen the reality of fame up close - the good, the bad, and the exhausting. Being recognisable can be a real pain, especially on a bad hair day when all you want is to grab a coffee in peace but end up signing autographs for strangers instead.
But these influencers I meet, well, they haven’t quite reached that level of notoriety. They’re not being mobbed in the street. They can, for the most part, still go about their lives unnoticed.
What always fascinates me, though, is what’s really going on behind the scenes. From the outside, their lives look like a whirlwind of glamorous events and opportunities. But the reality? It’s often far more complicated. Many are struggling. Money is tight. They might not have figured out how to monetise their platforms effectively. Some are selling their homes or downsizing. What you see on Instagram is rarely the full story.
This isn’t a new revelation to me. Years ago, I briefly worked with a very well-known public speaker and author. Let’s call him Tony Robbins. I was brought in to help with PR. What I saw behind the scenes was illuminating.
The company was running out of a fairly unremarkable office. The sales team were all very young, enthusiastic, and mostly recruited from the local gym (yes, really). They sat on the phones all day, working through endless lists of leads. These weren’t fresh leads either. The lists had been ‘rinsed’ repeatedly, so they were calling people who had already attended multiple events and were reluctant to spend hundreds on another ticket. The young sales people were solely judged and paid on how many people they convinced to buy a ticket.
When they did find someone who sounded remotely interested, they’d put the call on hold, wait 20 seconds (pretending to consult with a manager), and then come back offering a VIP ticket at a heavily discounted price. This wasn’t some well-oiled machine; it was a grind - a relentless hustle to sell enough tickets to break even on a single event.
It’s experiences like these that have shaped my understanding of success. It isn’t static or universal. Success is malleable, a concept that can be stretched, reshaped, and manipulated to suit whoever is selling it. Screenshots of bank accounts or dashboards can be fabricated. Followers, likes, and comments can be bought. AI versions of influencers are now interacting with paying fans on platforms like OnlyFans. The line between reality and projection is blurrier than ever.
What’s also clear to me is that success is rarely achieved in isolation. For the people I’ve worked with or studied - those who’ve reached some degree of financial freedom, I’ve noticed there’s usually a team of three behind them:
The Face of the Brand: This is the person front and centre, the one you see and associate with the brand.
The Support Team: These are the people behind the scenes. They are managing content calendars, scheduling calls, posting on social media, editing videos or podcasts, and generally ensuring the wheels keep turning.
Paid Media: Whether it’s Facebook ads, Google ads, or PR coverage, there’s usually some kind of financial investment driving visibility.
For solopreneurs and small business owners, assembling this kind of team can feel impossible. The resources just aren’t there. And while it’s important to be realistic about what you can achieve on your own, it’s equally important to think strategically about outsourcing. Even starting small such as delegating a single task, can make a big difference.
While it’s natural to compare ourselves to others, success isn’t always what it seems, and it’s rarely as effortless as it looks. Behind every polished Instagram post or sold-out event lies a story of hard work, sacrifice, and often, struggle. The pictures only show you what the creator wants you to see.
The key is finding a version of success that feels authentic to you and aligns with your values and balances aspiration with reality. And if you’re finding it tough, remember this: the people you’re following aren’t doing it alone. They’ve found others to help them grow, and you can too. Success doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Sometimes, the best step you can take is asking, “Who can help me?”
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I needed to hear this so badly today. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences Suzanne. A very helpful piece!
Great piece